More baby boomers are out their dating again.
High divorce rates, even among couples married for decades create newly single baby boomers interested in finding someone.
And, social norms are changing. In the past, people in their 40′s and 50′s who lost a spouse would live alone the rest of their lives. Today, more of these folks look forward to filling that empty space. Here’s how one baby boomer looks at finding love again after the death of her companion:
My happily married family and friends keep telling me to forget men and just enjoy my “do whatever I please” single lifestyle — advice I find insensitive when they’ve never had to live without love, intimacy, or someone special to spend weekends with.
Whatever the reason, more baby boomers are looking for relationships.
But, their options for finding that special someone are limited. Young adults are constantly surrounded by eligible singles in classes, nightclubs, parties …. The options are more limited — as they commonly run into few eligible singles. It’s especially difficult for single women as many man seem to prefer women much younger and society isn’t as accepting of women with much younger men unless you’re Demi Moore.
After my divorce I was approached by guys in their 20′s and, frankly, while it’s flattering, it’s just not reality. What do you talk about when you lack those shared experiences? You have different lifestyles, I’m certainly NOT going back to babies now that my kids are all grown and I don’t enjoy “clubbing”. We have different ideas of what’s fun. I’m not going to go camping and sleep on the ground == you’d need a crane to lift me back up on the morning. And we have different energy levels — not that I need a nap in the afternoon, but it’s pretty nice if you can get one.
Here’s some advice for you baby boomers dating again:
- Get comfortable in your skin. You’re not 19 again and you never will be. Face it. But, neither are the folks you’re dating, unless you’re into that May December thing, which I never did get. Take a few classes at the gym to build up your self-confidence and add a little tone.
- Tell people you’re interested in dating again. Especially if your partner died, people will feel uncomfortable suggesting possible matches. Let people know when you’re ready and don’t cling to some notion that there’s a certain amount of time before you can start dating. I would wait until after the funeral (just kidding), but only YOU know when you’re ready to date.
- Explore options for meeting people. Church, civic organizations, classes, the gym … are all good places to meet new people. Build a network of people from both genders to provide support and prospects. Even if you don’t meet the love of your life in these places, you’ll have fun. Online dating is becoming more prevalent in all age groups and there are special online dating sites for baby boomers. In fact, baby boomers are the fastest growing group of online daters.
- Don’t stress. Putting pressure on yourself to find someone won’t make it any easier. Be realistic. Don’t settle for someone just because they’re willing to go out with you. They won’t change, so if you don’t like ‘em now, it’s not getting any better.